Students react during the graduation ceremony of the 2010 class at Hampton University in Virginia, May 9, 2010.Reuters
Chances are you’ll cry on graduation day, but we’re here to stop the tears. Commencement is a time to reflect on old memories and prepare to make new ones, and there are dozens of funny sayings intended to encourage you to let the good times roll.
These 20 graduation quotes, collected from Graduation Wisdom and Dose of Funny, will not only cheer you up but also inspire you:
“As you set off into the world, don’t be afraid to question your leaders. But don’t ask too many questions at one time or that are too hard because your leaders get tired and/or cranky." — Will Ferrell
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
“Now I usually try not to give advice. Information, yes, advice, no. But, what has worked for me may not work for you. Well, take for instance what has worked for me. Wigs. Tight clothes. Push-up bras." — Dolly Parton
“You will find the key to success under the alarm clock.” — Benjamin Franklin
“So how do you know what is the right path to choose to get the result that you desire? And the honest answer is this. You won’t." — Jon Stewart
"Just remember, you can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets." — Arnold Schwarzenegger
“Remember that there’s no one way of doing things … If you just get a hammer and hit it really hard, whatever it is, I guarantee you it’ll open." — Fred Armisen
“Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.” — Thomas Dewar
“I’m here to tell you about the place I live in now: The real world. There’s no dress rehearsal, no take-home tests, no rough drafts. If you unconstitutionally wiretap people’s phones, you’ll be taken down. If you shoot someone in the face with a shotgun, you’ll reap the consequences. If you illegally invade a sovereign nation to secure oil interests and assuage a personal vendetta, you’ll be re-elected.” — Seth MacFarlane
“It is extremely difficult to stay alert and attentive, instead of getting hypnotized by the constant monologue inside your own head (may be happening right now)." — David Foster Wallace
“The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.” — Vidal Sassoon
“So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.” — Bill Watterson
“Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.” — Ellen DeGeneres
“There’s few things that get you over your own crap more than working hard.” — Adam Savage
“Be bold. Be true. Be kind. Rotate your tires. Don’t drink so much. There aren’t going to be enough liver transplants to go around.” — Richard Russo
"The Holy Spirit said to me, ‘The only time you lose at something is when you don’t learn from that experience.’" — Chuck Norris
“You are graduating from college. That means that this is the first day of the last day of your life. No, that's wrong. This is the last day of the first day of school. Nope, that's worse. This is a day.” — Andy Samberg
“Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.” — Garry Trudeau
"My favorite animal is the turtle. The reason is that in order for the turtle to move, it has to stick its neck out." — Ruth Westheimer
“Now that you’ve graduated, just remember: Bosses don’t usually accept notes from your mother.” — Melanie White
