Russian Lawmaker Wants Apollo's Genitals Removed From Hundred-Ruble Banknote

Forget the fact that U.S. senators are pushing for more aggressive anti-Russia sanctions or that Edward Snowden is asking the Kremlin for an extended asylum. This Russian lawmaker is tackling a bigger issue: Greek god Apollo’s genitals.

Roman Khudyakov, a member of parliament for the nationalist LDPR party, submitted a parliamentary request to remove the image of Apollo from the 100 ruble banknote, worth just under $3. The note shows Apollo riding a horse-drawn chariot standing atop the Bolshoi Theater.

"You can see clearly that Apollo is naked, you can see his genitalia," Khudyakov told Reuters Television. "I submitted a parliamentary request and forwarded it directly to the head of the central bank asking for the banknote to be brought into line with the law protecting children and to remove this Apollo."

According to Khudyakov, the penis in question is in danger of harming children. "The girl screamed at the boy: 'Can you see that? I told you, there is a penis here!' I was shocked, you know,” he told Reuters Television.

The Internet, naturally, ridiculed the Russian lawmaker's request. Some even went as far as claiming Khudyakov was concerned kids would see Apollo’s genitals and “turn gay.” Lest we forget that Apollo had many gay lovers in his time.

Banning the rude rubble is just one of the many recent and ridiculous laws the Russian government has attempted to pass. Earlier this month, swearing in the arts (books, music, films, blogs…) became a punishable offense where violators could be fined between $70 and $1,400.