'Dance Moms'' Abby Lee Miller Reveals She Wishes She Would've Died After Successful Spinal Surgery

Abby Lee Miller got candid about the spinal surgery she underwent back in 2018 and the difficulties she has been experiencing since that she said had her wishing at times that she never would have made it.

Miller and Dr. Hooman Melamed, who performed the life-saving surgery, recalled the day of the operation during an interview with Entertainment Tonight. The "Dance Moms" alum had undergone emergency surgery for a mass infection putting a lot of pressure on her spine, causing her severe pain. She was later diagnosed with Burkitt lymphoma, a rare aggressive form of cancer.

"I remember saying to the anesthesiologist, 'Just tell me I'm gonna see you when I wake up,' and he said, 'I can't tell you that, ma'am,'" Miller told ET of her operation.

She continued, "That's when I knew, and then I heard [Dr. Melamed] say something that I didn't know, he said, 'Get the theater ready, I'm going in,' and I didn't know that the operating room was called the theater and I thought I died. I'm dead already. You know, I can still hear them talking."

Melamed, on the other hand, had been optimistic about the operation and that they would be able to save Miller.

He recalled telling his wife, "This is not gonna happen on my watch. I don't care what it takes. I'm gonna do whatever it takes," adding that he "was optimistic that we were gonna save her. That's how I always like to look at it."

Miller underwent another surgery last year due to slipped vertebrate and severe compression of the nerves, along with severe pain and foot drop. She had to undergo another procedure to revise the loose screws in her back and put additional screws into her pelvis and place bone cement in her vertebrae.

Due to her experiences over the past two years, Miller admitted there were times when she wished that she would have died.

"This is weird but there are days that I wish that I would've died," she told ET. "I know there's people out there fighting every day for their lives, yes, but it's been rough. It's not easy to live in a wheelchair. It's not easy, especially in California. It's very difficult to be handicapped ... that's why I need to walk."

Miller is already cancer-free but still experiences pain in her lower tailbone from being in a wheelchair. She is able to walk now as well, but she hasn't been able to complete her physical therapy sessions due to the pandemic.

Miller also revealed that she couldn't afford 24-hour care and has been living in a hotel so that she can call the front desk for help.

Last year, Miller was set to return to television in the spinoff series, "Dance Moms: Abby's Virtual Dance Off," Entertainment Weekly reported. However, Lifetime canceled the show just weeks before it was supposed to premiere after Miller was accused of making racist remarks to and about former "Dance Moms" contestant Adriana Smith.