David Letterman Interview Quotes: 11 Hilarious Jokes About Trump, Bannon, Russia From His Conversation With New York Magazine

New York magazine published a rare interview Sunday with former late-night comedy legend David Letterman, in which he skewered President Donald Trump (or “Trumpy,” as he called the president) and his administration. Letterman, who turns 70 in April, hasn’t hosted the CBS program “The Late Show” since 2015, and the interview was like catnip for those who missed his sharp, funny observations about the state of today’s world.

Here’s a roundup of some of the most interesting quotes from the interview.

On Trump:

“I’ve known the guy since the ’80s. I was one of a few people who had routinely interviewed him. I’m not blinded by the white-hot light of ‘president-elect.’ I mean, we elected a guy with that hair? Why don’t we investigate that?”

“(Trump) was a joke of a wealthy guy. We didn’t take him seriously. He’d sit down, and I would just start making fun of him. He never had any retort. He was big and doughy, and you could beat him up.”

On the press’ relationship with Trump:

“That press conference that he held berating the news media? I mean, how do you build a dictatorship? First, you undermine the press: ‘The only truth you’re going to hear is from me.’”

On comedy’s role in civic discourse:

“Comedy’s one of the ways that we can protect ourselves. Alec Baldwin deserves a Presidential Medal of Freedom. Sadly, he’s not going to get it from this president.”

On White House Chief Strategist Steve Bannon:

“And he hires the Hunchback of Notre Dame, Steve Bannon, to be his little buddy. Bannon looks like a guy who goes to lunch, gets drunk, and comes back to the office: ‘Steve, could you have just one drink?’ ‘F*ck you.’ How is a white supremacist the chief adviser to our president? Did anybody look that up?”

On White House Counselor Kellyanne Conway:

“Kellyanne Conway was my favorite for a long time. This thing about her telling everyone, ‘Go buy Ivanka’s shoes; I’m going to go buy Ivanka’s shoes. Hell, I’ll buy you a pair of Ivanka’s shoes.’ Then they had to counsel her. Boy, if this administration decides you need counseling — whoa.”

On White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer:

“Poor Sean Spicer is a boob who just got out of a cab and now here he is.”

On White House Senior Advisor Stephen Miller:

“Wow, that guy is creepy.”

On alleged ties between Russia and Trump:

“I’m sure the Russians groomed Trump. They gave him tips: ‘You want to be an authoritarian dictator? Sure, that’s not a problem. We’ll tell you how to do it, for God’s sake.’”

On how he would interview Trump now:

“I would just start with a list. ‘You did this. You did that. Don’t you feel stupid for having done that, Don? And who’s this goon Steve Bannon, and why do you want a white supremacist as one of your advisers? Come on, Don, we both know you’re lying. Now, stop it.’ I think I would be in the position to give him a bit of a scolding and he would have to sit there and take it.”

On himself:

“If anybody f*cked me up, it was me, by getting old and stupid.”