Father’s Day 2016 Jokes: 19 Funny One-Liners And Riddles To Share With Your Dad

There’s no better way to celebrate Father’s Day than telling a dad joke — or telling Dad a joke. This is your perfect chance to get back at him for annoying you with silly quips your whole life: While you’re at brunch with your pop on Sunday, pull up this story and read aloud these one-liners, quips and quotes.

“I tell my kids jokes as often as possible, and the worse they are the better. Is it just me, or when you tell your children a joke do you actively want them to think it’s rubbish?” Jon Sutton, the blogger behind Dad Pride, wrote in 2013. Give him a dose of his own metaphorical medicine on Father’s Day.

Here are 19 jokes for dad, collected from Mashable, Boys’ Life, Reader’s Digest, BuzzFeed and dad-joke.tumblr.com:

Me: I’ll call you later.
Dad: Don’t call me later, call me “Dad.”

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

Where does Fonzie from “Happy Days” like to go for lunch? Chick-Fil-Ey.

Me: Dad, make me a sandwich!
Dad: Poof, you’re a sandwich!

Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he’s such a pain in the neck.

Jon: What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father?
Tom: What?
Jon: One’s a pop fly. The other’s a fly pop.

“My daughter got me a ‘World’s Best Dad’ mug. So we know she’s sarcastic.” — Bob Odenkirk

Dad: You’ll never amount to anything because you procrastinate.
Son: Oh yeah? Just you wait!

“Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.” — Jon Stewart

Dad: Want to hear a pizza joke?
Me: Sure.
Dad: Nevermind. It’s too cheesy.

Why do bears have hairy coats? Fur protection.

Person 1: I hate oyings.
Person 2: What is an oying?
Person 3: This joke.

I used to work for a soft drink can crushing company. It was soda pressing.

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve food here.”

Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?
Science student: When my father sees my report card!

When you have a bladder infection, urine trouble.

How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.

If life gives you melons, you’re probably dyslexic.

Dad: What happens when you talk to a cow?
Me: What?
Dad: It goes in one ear and out the udder!