Funny New Year Quotes: 20 Hilarious Sayings To Usher In 2022

The new year is almost here and the start of a new chapter is already giving us glimpses of hope that 2022 would treat us better than the past years, which have seen a global pandemic. Resolving to be better and wiser in the New Year is something everyone does.

Here are some funny quotes that can motivate you and make you laugh out loud at the same time, courtesy Thought.co, Wishes Quotes and a few other sites.

• "Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle."— Eric Zorn
• "Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account." — Oscar Wilde
• "Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits." — Anonymous
• "The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to." — P.J. O’Rourke
• All we wanted from life was love, peace, happiness and a Porsche. Three out of four isn’t quite so bad, considering what we’ve been through as friends. Happy New Year, and may this be the year of the Porsche. — Anonymous
• "Thirty ways to shape up for [the new year] — number one: eat less; number two: exercise more; number three… What was I talking about? I’m so hungry right now." — Maria Bamford
• "It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets." — William Thomas
• "My New Year’s resolution list usually starts with the desire to lose between 10 and 3,000 pounds." — Nia Vardalos
• "New Year's Day is every man's birthday." — Charles Lamb
• "Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to." — Bill Vaughan
• "A dog’s New Year’s Resolution: I will not chase that stick unless I actually see it leave his hand!" — Anonymous
• "People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas." — Anonymous
• "He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool." — F.M. Knowles
• "I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me." — Anais Nin
• "New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive." — Jay Leno
• "'Out with the old, in with the new' is a fitting expression for a holiday that is based on vomiting." — Andy Borowitz
• "I'm a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser." — Robert Paul
• "New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions." — Mark Twain
• "You know how I always dread the whole year? Well, this time I'm only going to dread one day at a time." — Charlie Brown

• “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald