Funny Thanksgiving Turkey Questions About How To Cook, Carve And Roast The Holiday Bird

While the Thanksgiving turkey is one of the most important parts of the all-American holiday, cooking it isn’t always the easiest thing. From first-time cooks' common questions to veterans' outrageous queries, turkey producer Butterball has heard some wild things in the 35 years since it started Talk-Line, a service hotline. The company shared some of the funniest ones with People magazine. Check them out below:

1. How do I roast my turkey so it gets golden brown tan lines -- in the shape of a turkey bikini? Butterball came up with an answer for this caller. To create the “bikini look,” the expert recommended putting aluminum foil in certain places on the turkey.

2. I carved my turkey with a chainsaw ... is the chain grease going to adversely affect my turkey? The talk-line expert said the turkey would not be edible, and suggested using a carving knife next time after the turkey had 20 minutes to rest after cooking.

3. How do I get my turkey to stop sudsing? Is a soapy turkey recoverable? A first-time cook contacted the service line after she washed the bird with dish liquid. Turkeys don’t need to be washed, she was told. Instead, she was instructed to pat it dry with paper towels to get rid of extra juice.

4. Why does my turkey have no breast meat? This seems like a silly question, especially since all the person had to do was turn the turkey over. A cook called the hotline after the breast appeared to be missing. The operator soon realized the caller had cooked the turkey upside down. For a more flavorful bird, it’s recommended to cook the bird with the breast facing up.

5. How to carve a turkey when all of its bones have been broken? One caller’s oven wasn’t big enough to fit the bird, so he wrapped it in a towel and stomped on it several times. While the gentleman was proud of his problem solving, Butterball doesn’t recommend this method. If the oven is too small, the hotline told him, either get two small birds in place of one large turkey or try the deep-frying method.

6. So I’m looking at a turkey from 1969 sitting here in my father’s freezer ... any tips on the best way to cook a 30-year-old bird? Butterball recommended this cook throw out the old turkey and get a new one and roast it in the oven.

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