Forget the questions of Obama's birth certificate. Forget the questions about whether Obama is a Muslim. Obama's true secret was revealed on Wednesday - that he is a space travelling chrononaut who worked with the head of DARPA to teleport to Mars on several occasions when he was 19-years old.

Wired reported that Andrew D. Basiago and William Stillings, who are self-proclaimed universe-exploring government agents (and have time-traveled also), worked with Barack Obama in the early 1980's on a secret CIA intergalactic project hosted from the College of the Siskiyous, a community college in California.

Obama didn't use his real name of course. Traversing the universe as Barry Soetero, Obama was one of 10 people who was teleported to Mars via a jump room. And though Basiago or Stillings didn't say what exactly Obama did on Mars, Retired Army Maj. Ed Dames allegedly told Obama Simply put, your task is to be seen and not eaten.

Basiago and Stillings said the CIA's goal was to establish a defense regime protecting the Earth from threats from space, and also lay claim to territorial sovereignty. They also said that Obama acted almost as an ambassador, and had to secure a U.S.-Martian alliance.

Regina Dugan, director of DARPA, the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, an organization that, according to various conspiracy theorists, is in bed with the Illuminati trying to create a secret weapons, was also a member of the project.

The United States government, obviously, denies this allegation, saying Obama's never been to Mars. Only if you count watching Marvin the Martian, Tommy Vietor, the spokesman for the National Security Council told Wired. But that's exactly what they'd say if they were trying to cover something up.

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