Graduation 2016 Quotes: 12 Funny, Inspirational Sayings From Commencement Speeches

Graduation is upon us, and if you're searching for inspiration, look no further than your favorite comedian. For decades, celebrities have been tapped to give commencement addresses to classes full of hopeful graduates. This year's lineup included Matt Damon, Sheryl Sandberg, Spike Lee and Lin Manuel Miranda, among others.

But you should look to the past to get pumped for the future. Here are a few of Hollywood's funniest commencement quotes, mainly compiled from Entertainment Weekly, BuzzFeed, Mental Floss and Gawker:

"There is a huge difference between a dog that is going to eat you in your mind and an actual dog that's going to eat you. Many never learn that distinction and spend a great deal of their lives living in fight-or-flight response." — Jim Carrey

"There is also sadness today, a feeling of loss that you're leaving Harvard forever. Well, let me assure you that you never really leave Harvard. The Harvard Fundraising Committee will be on your ass until the day you die. ... Imagine: These people just raised 2.5 billion dollars, and they only got through the Bs in the alumni directory. Here's how it works. Your phone rings, usually after a big meal when you're tired and most vulnerable. A voice asks you for money. Knowing they just raised 2.5 billion dollars you ask, 'What do you need it for?' Then there's a long pause and the voice on the other end of the line says, 'We don't need it, we just want it.' It's chilling." — Conan O'Brien

"Try putting your iPhones down every once in a while and look at people’s faces." — Amy Poehler

"You did it, and you look amazing. Although it’s a little embarrassing you all showed up in the same outfit. Really, even all of the accessories are the same. Everyone has a black and gold tassel — or is it blue and white? Grandparents, just know this was the issue that divided a generation. You had the Vietnam War; your grandchildren had an ambiguously colored Tumblr post.” — Stephen Colbert

“Let’s admit it, we all got two wolves in us, a good one and a bad one. You know what I’m talking about — and they both wanna eat … We just gotta feed that good wolf a little more than the other one.” — Matthew McConaughey

"Now with all this heavy talk, I'd like to take a moment and give you some advice. I mean just regular old advice. Ideas like: Don't walk barefoot in a thumbtack factory. Here's one I can tell you. When you get a bucket of water thrown in your face, untuck your shirt. You wouldn't think it would make that much difference. But, a shirttail, even made of a hydrophilic fabric, directs water around your belt. I say this, because I've run tests — several of 'em. The point here is that everyone you'll ever meet knows something you don't. It's surprising, perhaps, but how else could it be?" — Bill Nye

"I had forgotten how crushingly dull these ceremonies are. Thank you. My best to the choir. I have to say, that song never grows old for me. Whenever I hear that song, it reminds me of nothing." — Jon Stewart

“If I could give my 21-year-old self any advice, it would be, ‘Take as many bikini photos as you can now, because your body is smokin’ hot. And it will not be this bangin’ after childbirth.’” — Maya Rudolph

"I know that I am supposed to say something meaningful to you. Maybe some good advice for you to always remember. Now, I usually try not to give advice. Information, yes; advice, no. But what has worked for me may not work for you. Well, take for instance what has worked for me. Wigs. Tight clothes. Push-up bras. High-heel shoes." — Dolly Parton

“Be the left shark. Remember last Super Bowl, when the Patriots won? You may be thinking of Tom Brady’s deflated balls right now, but I’m thinking of Katy Perry’s half-time performance. She was on stage dancing with two sharks. The shark on the right knew every dance move and performed perfectly. But it was the left shark, the one who went rogue and danced to his own crazy beat, who stole the show. So don’t ever be a conformist for convenience’s sake." — Meredith Vieira

“Your whole life is ahead of you. Not the fun part. That part’s over.” — Seth Meyers

"Let's plunge right ahead into the dull part. That's the part where the commencement speaker tells the graduates to go forth into the world, then gives advice on what to do when they get out there. This is a ridiculous waste of time. The graduates never take the advice, as I have learned from long experience. The best advice I can give anybody about going out into the world is this: Don't do it. I have been out there. It is a mess." — Russell Baker