Sohail Ahmed

Few topics in the world cause such controversy, disparity and misunderstanding as religion. Due to potential disagreements, it is also a subject veiled in much taboo, and many people stray away from religious conversations. According to a study from 2016, 33% of US adults seldom and 16% never talk about religion with those outside their family. Additionally, 13% of people admitted to never talking about religion, even with members of their immediate family.

According to Sohail Ahmed, a former Islamic extremist, discussing uncomfortable topics and having difficult conversations with friends and family is the only way to avoid future misunderstandings. "Everyone has their own opinion about religion, but people are scared to share it," added Sohail. "That's why there are so many misconceptions, disagreements, and radical beliefs surrounding it."

Currently identifying as a Cultural Muslim, Sohail noticed many myths around religion, coming from devoted believers, atheists, agnostics, and various people from his circle. To Sohail, religion serves a social purpose that binds communities, and there's a visible difference in how Islam and different beliefs are perceived. For instance, Sohail mentions that many individuals who grew up Christian or Jewish lost the connection to faith later in life but still engaged in religious traditions and celebrated holidays. However, the concept of belonging to a religion in a strictly cultural capacity is foreign to many Muslims. Traditionalist interpretation of Islam, which has been narrowed down throughout the years, is a vital reason for that. In Sohail's opinion, that radical point of view is a consequence of the Islamic world's reaction to historical events.

Bringing up the idea of cultural and memetic evolution explored by Richard Dawkins, for example, Sohail emphasises the broad impact of religion that transcends personal beliefs. Praying, fasting, and repenting, in addition to being an outlet for showcasing faith, also serve an important communal function. By offering simple explanations to ever-existing existential questions, religion appeals to emotions, fostering a group dynamic that's supportive and cohesive.

"Regardless of whether the underlying claims are true, religion has survived through centuries because of its social utility and function," expressed Sohail. "For too long now, people have been scared about expressing nonconformist opinions, and exposing individuals to the humanism-focused version of believing."

Stripping away the faith factor, Sohail brings up other aspects of religion, such as the rich culture, belonging to a community, and the food and scholarly sides. Participating in rituals connects community members, serving an important social function that now, in an era where technology is overpowering human connections, is more important than ever.

Unfortunately, many communities are only acceptant of members with the same beliefs, alienating those who identify as agnostic or cultural believers. The reason for that is trying to preserve a tradition that spans back thousands of years, fearing any modern and more liberal changes. As noted by Sohail, "Becoming too insular and dogmatic will have the opposite effect, allowing negative connotations and misconceptions to exist longer. The key is finding that balance between tradition and the evolving, more open-minded world."

Born in London to a family of Pakistani Muslims, Sohail was brought up in the Islamic faith by relatively liberal parents. "The most important message I remember from childhood is 'to be a Muslim is to be a good person,'" recollects Sohail. The progressive environment Sohail grew up in started slowly changing after the then Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia, Abdul al-Aziz Ibn Baz, funded a mosque in Sohail's community. What began with Sohail's parents dressing more traditionally turned into harmful brainwashing. At the age of six, Sohail was forbidden from having non-Muslim friends, fueling him with confusion and anger.

That terror persisted for many more years and escalated when Sohail realised he was gay. Only eight at that time, he learned he was attracted to the same gender, which was unacceptable and punishable among many Muslims. Sohail was told he was cursed with an affliction and began searching for a 'solution.' "I remember hearing that the penalty for being gay is a painful death and being fearful," added Ahmed."I've felt more helpless than ever before and started developing hatred towards myself for not fitting in."

The first time in his life he seriously questioned the ideology he had been raised with, was when the 2005 London 7/7 attacks happened—while most of his family and friends celebrated, Sohail was going through an inner conflict. However, even with serious doubts, he continued to become more radicalised as time went on. Eventually, Sohail projected the built-up internal hatred outwards. That feeling of fear and hatred towards those he considered to be the outgroup, led to Sohail planning a violent act in London.

It was the memory of his inner conflict, spurred by the horrors of the 7/7 attacks, that finally led Sohail to actively question his radical beliefs. He considers this to be the turning point in his life. He realised it could've been any of his friends on the receiving end and understood how radical he had become.

In contrast to his extremist beliefs, ironically, Sohail had always been interested in the sciences, achieving top marks throughout high school. While seeking alternatives to extremist dogma, and spurred on by his study of science, Sohail realised that his radical beliefs contradicted what he understood from the theories of biological evolution and philosophy.

Unable to reconcile the apparent contradictions between the literal interpretations of his faith and the scientific theories he was studying, Sohail was presented with a choice. Either blindly follow everything he believed, or reconsider the most fundamental components of his entire worldview. "One by one, like dominos, the pieces of my radical beliefs fell away, replaced with a staunch anti-theistic position. But, once I found myself there, I realised something had been taken away. There was nothing there that kept people together and nothing that united communities," shared Sohail. "I felt incredibly lonely and fell into a very dark place."

This lack of community, Sohail realised, created a vacuum into which radical or extremist ideologies could pour their dogmas. Now, Sohail is convinced of the opinion that the vacuum can be filled by a more positive alternative. Namely, a more inclusive, progressive, and tolerant form of Islam. He calls this, being a Cultural Muslim.

"The more I started to think about my extremist beliefs, the more I hesitated. After being radicalised, I reached a certain point of doubt that turned Islam, my once safe place, into an emotionally draining cage. That tipped over everything else, and I eventually became a fully liberal, progressive Muslim who is gay and supports all human rights," explains Sohail.

Emphasising the positive impact of liberal views, Sohail brings up the Islamic Golden Age. What a lot of people don't realise is that many influential thinkers in the Golden Age were Cultural Muslims—atheists or agnostics ascribed to the Islamic identity. One thing Sohail noticed while affiliated with extremist communities is that many people bring up the Golden Age as something that should return without realising that many thinkers were non-believers or, at the very least, questioning their belief in God.

Sohail's inspiring story highlights the importance of belonging to a community while being a cautionary tale to young people who find themselves in bleakness. "Extremist beliefs never lead to positivity and love, and I'd like to remind people, especially youths struggling with finding their identity, that there is a way to be Muslim, liberal, and accepting of others. Just like all divisions, the partition between Muslims and other religions is entirely artificial," added Sohail. "There's a spectrum of positions and views, and the world isn't black and white. You can be questioning your faith, and you can be Muslim at the same time. You can hold true to both identities without one overpowering the other."