Kohdi Rayne Chews Over The Unseen Trauma of Growing Up with an Alcoholic Parent

Alcoholism, a widespread issue across socio-economic backgrounds, significantly impacts individuals and families, particularly children. The emotional turmoil, instability, and neglect often associated with living with an alcoholic parent can significantly impact a child's mental and emotional well-being, leading to feelings of shame, guilt, and isolation, resulting in enduring psychological scars.

Children growing up in the shadows of alcoholism often face a profound yet overlooked struggle. For those young souls, the harsh realities of addiction permeate every aspect of their lives, leaving behind scars that may never fully heal. From the chaos of unpredictable behavior to the emotional rollercoaster of neglect and abuse, the impact of alcoholism on children is staggering and often far-reaching. These experiences can sometimes lead to exacerbated or overly expressive ADHD symptoms where otherwise would have been quite minimal.

As alcohol use is normalized in most families, children struggle to distinguish between good role models and bad ones. Kids oftentimes assume their destiny is predetermined by their caretakers or environment. As a result, many end up feeling conflicted, confused, and self-conscious when they realize that drinking is not considered "normal" in other families. Adult children of abusive parents who were drunk may grow up fearing angry people and avoid conflict. Some adult children with Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) take themselves seriously and struggle with self-esteem. They more often than not, develop feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth. Children of AUD may also feel different from others, leading to avoiding social situations, difficulty making friends, and isolation. Overall, a tumultuous upbringing can lead to a negative impact on a child's life.

By young adulthood, 53% of children with alcoholic parents show evidence of an alcohol or drug use disorder, with children of alcoholics starting substance use earlier and increasing rates faster than their peers.

In addition to judging themselves too harshly, some adult children of people with AUD constantly seek approval from others. They can become people-pleasers who are crushed if someone is not happy with them and live in fear of any kind of criticism. This can lead to paranoia and full-blown anxiety that causes them to self-isolate and consider drinking.

Perhaps to avoid criticism or the anger of their parents with AUD, many children tend to become perfectionistic overachievers or workaholics. On the other hand, people often go in the opposite direction, mirroring the same bad behaviors they witnessed during childhood.

Recognizing the unique challenges faced by children of alcoholism, it is incumbent upon us as a society to step forward and extend a compassionate hand. Traditional avenues of support, while valuable, often fall short of addressing the nuanced needs of these children.

Kohdi Rayne, founder of Beyond Sober, completely understands this situation. His journey from the depths of addiction to a paragon of recovery serves as an inspiration for many. But beyond his personal triumph lies a profound dedication to extending this beacon of hope to children navigating the trauma of growing up around alcoholism.

Rayne emphasizes that alcoholics do not drink out of apathy but in a desperate attempt to alleviate the burdens weighing on their shoulders. Having experienced this struggle firsthand, he recognizes the importance of addressing the underlying trauma and finding closure in peace. Through peer-to-peer support groups, mentorship programs, and collaborative activities, one can instill a sense of resilience and enablement to rewrite their narratives and envision a future filled with promise and possibility.

"I encourage individuals to be their own cheerleaders, reminding themselves that these individuals are their own biggest fans! It truly takes courage and bravery to recognize where things are right now, and accordingly take the next step towards recovering," says Kohdi. Recovery involves discovering who you are beneath the trauma, pain, anxiety, disconnect, and illusion. With practice and support, we can start addressing these issues head-on and begin the healing journey.

Central to Rayne's approach is the belief that recovery does not mean fixing oneself but rediscovering one's true essence beneath the layers of trauma and pain. This practicality extends to his work with children, where he stresses the importance of creating a supportive environment that nurtures growth and development. By fostering open communication, love, and understanding, Kohdi encourages children to navigate their emotions and find strength in vulnerability.

"Encouraging children to explore human behavior can boost their emotional as well as intelligence quotient levels as they learn to distinguish and communicate. Still, they must feel strong enough to receive the necessary support," expresses this visionary. Rayne advocates extending a hand to those in need, for both children and parents to encompass the essence of compassion, empathy, and hope among these families.