Lily Collins Says She Had A 'Verbally Abusive,' 'Toxic' Relationship In Her Early 20s

Lily Collins has opened up about a "toxic" relationship in her early 20s, which often led her to experience "panic" and "anxiety."

In her appearance on Wednesday's episode of "We Can Do Hard Things" podcast, the "Emily in Paris" actress got candid about her dark romantic past and how it affected her.

"For me, my romantic toxic relationship was verbal and emotional abuse and being made to feel very small," the 33-year-old actress told hosts Glennon Doyle, Amanda Doyle and Abby Wambach.

The Golden Globe nominee continued, "He would call me 'Little Lily.' You should be 'Little Lily' and he'd use awful words about me in terms of what I was wearing and would call me a whore and all these things."

Collins said her ex-boyfriend's "belittling words" made her become "quite silent and comfortable in silence and feeling like I had to make myself small to feel super safe."

The relationship led Collins to seek therapy, which helped her learn about how prey responded to predators thousands of years ago.

"When the prey felt threatened, they made themselves as small as possible," she shared. "Possibly by not eating by making themselves look as least juicy and enticing as possible and that's where they felt the safest."

The "To the Bone" star said those feelings can still be "triggered" despite having a "healthy" relationship with her husband Charlie McDowell.

"Cut 2000 years later, I am not thinking about predator and prey but it is that same feeling of 'panic' and 'anxiety' and wanting to just get by and feel safe in some way...that anxiety was heightened in my toxic relationship. That's the panic attack manifestation...The situations are completely different 10 years ago to now...none of that applies to me. I'm not looking to hibernate but the feeling of panic is still the same," Collins revealed.

"That panic is what I can still get triggered by," she explained. "Even if I'm in the most healthy relationship, there can be a moment that happens throughout the day where history comes back like that," she added.

Collins last year opened up about her happy marriage to McDowell, calling him her "best friend."

"I just feel so grateful that I have someone next to me to be able to accomplish that and your best friend with you all the time," she said at the time.