The Orgasm Gap: Why Society is Still Villainizing Female Pleasure
![Anjuli Ayer OM](https://d.ibtimes.com/en/full/4545220/anjuli-ayer-om.png?w=736&f=b6f1c35352c921b69032345576e2c533)
Recent studies documenting a historic issue plaguing heterosexual intimate encounters dubbed the orgasm gap highlight society's ongoing discomfort with female pleasure. The significant disparity in the frequency of orgasms experienced by men and women during sexual encounters also reflects broader cultural attitudes stigmatizing women's sexual empowerment. Orgasmic Meditation (OM), a mindfulness-based practice utilizing clitoral stimulation, has been targeted for its emphasis on female power and desire. Although the meditative practice offers scientifically-supported benefits helpful in alleviating mental health symptoms, it has come under fire for the unconventional nature of the practice and concerns of exploitation. The Institute of OM, which spearheads training in the meditation practice as well as erotic philosophy education, argue that these allegations stem from pervasive social norms discouraging sexual liberation. Institute of OM CEO Anjuli Ayer said, "People – mainly men – attack the practice as exploitation because it's so hard for them to imagine that a woman would have full sovereignty over her body. Sexual energy is powerful energy, and our society largely doesn't know how to deal with it, so we demonize it."
![OM](https://d.ibtimes.com/en/full/4541978/om.jpg?w=512&f=ae872f0b6321ff24bc67af6e86634b51)
A 2017 study found that about 95% of heterosexual men say they usually orgasm during sexual intimacy while only 65% of heterosexual women reported the same. These results underline persistent inequalities in women's sexual pleasure. They also speak to society's antagonism toward women who embrace their sexual energy, whether that's in recreational or therapeutic settings. These biases reinforce the stigma surrounding female power and sexuality, impacting how women can leverage their sexual energy to find fulfillment.
Orgasmic Meditation, which inherently challenges traditional sexual norms through its focus on liberating sexual energy through a woman's body, faces major barriers to becoming a democratized practice. Recently shown to have several long-lasting benefits in reducing anxiety and negative emotions, OM is a powerful tool for expanding states of consciousness and reaching a flow state. The practice, which was largely popularized by San Francisco startup OneTaste, has been taught to over 16,000 people in person and several million online through free YouTube videos and a mobile app. Still, the practice has received mixed reviews from the public. Some see OM as an avenue for spiritual enlightenment while others pigeon-hole it as a sexually deviant practice.
"Orgasmic Meditation falls outside traditional religious contexts and it centers female pleasure, making it particularly taboo in today's world," says Anjuli Ayer. "This is understandable because sex is portrayed in many negative contexts due to real issues like sexual violence. Yet, OM still promises a sustained expansion of consciousness and human connection that other healing modalities don't."
![Anjuli Ayer](https://d.ibtimes.com/en/full/4541980/anjuli-ayer.jpg?w=512&f=92f729bbffd1d784d848b50ccbfb41c1)
OM sessions are structured with specific parameters, ensuring that both participants - a female strokee and a stroker (who can be any gender) - enjoy safe and consensual experiences. Many women and men seek out OM because of their desire to leverage sexual energy for personal healing and growth. Others find this practice useful for reconnecting with their sexuality in order to reach physical and emotional fulfillment in life.
Dr. Andrew Newberg, a world-renowned neuroscientist and physician, has been studying the scientific validity of OM for several years. With support from The Institute of OM Foundation, he led a study exploring the cognitive and physical benefits of this practice. His recent book Sex, God, and the Braindraws parallels between religion and sexuality, highlighting how sexual energy is at the root of mysticism and self-fulfillment. Dr. Newberg educates readers about the stigmatization of sexual expression despite its historic presence in religious texts spanning centuries. His narratives, paired with research findings on OM, reiterate the importance to stop demonizing sexuality and the powerful energy it contains.
When juxtaposed with common criticisms of OM, Dr. Newberg's perspective offers valuable insights. It highlights humanity's need to embrace mind-body-spirit healing practices despite ongoing misconceptions about sexuality. While OM appears unconventional in the lens of Western society, its roots span centuries and continents. The practice's principles - connection, liberation, and expression - encompass humanity's natural desire to integrate all parts of the self, including the ones like sexuality that Western society tends to hide behind closed doors. Considering that many current mental health treatments fail to address the body, OM could offer a powerful alternative for addressing trauma and other somatic ailments through sexual liberation.
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