Parent Vs. Grandparent: Half Of Americans Differ With Older Generation In Bringing Up Kids

Children benefit a lot when grandparents are involved in their lives. But sometimes, parents and grandparents might not agree on certain aspects of parenting. A recent national poll pointed out that nearly half of American parents disagree with at least one grandparent on their style of parenting.

The C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health at Michigan Medicine found that these clashes over parenting choices and enforcing certain rules can cause major strife between a kid’s parents and grandparents.

The disputes between parents and grandparents are mostly based on discipline, meals, TV/screen time, and other aspects like manners, safety, health, bedtime, and sharing photos on social media.

"Grandparents play a special role in children's lives and can be an important resource for parents through support, advice and babysitting. But they may have different ideas about the best way to raise the child and that can cause tension. If grandparents contradict or interfere with parenting choices, it can have a serious strain on the relationship," said the poll's co-director, Sarah Clark.

The Poll:

As many as 2016 parents of kids aged 18 and below took part in the national survey. Discipline was the biggest source of contention between parents and grandparents and almost half of the parents said that the disagreements arose from grandparents being too harsh or overly lenient. Parents often felt that their parental authorities get undermined when grandparents are too lenient and let the kids do things that are against family rules and vice versa.

Intergenerational differences also contribute to some disagreements. Grandparents may insist upon older methods as the right ones and might refuse to adopt new research and recommendations on child health and safety.

The parents who reported major conflicts with grandparents were also likely to feel that these disagreements negatively impacted the relationship between the child and the grandparent.

The findings of the poll highlighted that grandparents should try to understand and comply with the requests made about parenting choices.

Grandparents are not only expected to support parents in the difficult job of raising children but also to avoid escalating the disagreements to the point that they risk losing their special bond with their grandkids.