Paul McCartney Reflects On Painful Loss After John Lennon's Death: 'Just Too Deep'

Paul McCartney experienced "deep" grief after losing his Beatles bandmate John Lennon.

Four decades after Lennon was shot and killed, McCartney, 80, spoke candidly about the intense grief he felt after he and the Beatles lost the musician in a recent interview on SiriusXM's "The Beatles Channel."

According to the "Magneto and Titanium Man" hitmaker, the tragedy — which led him to create "Here Today," his tribute to Lennon — "was so difficult" for everyone who loved the late guitarist. McCartney shared that it hit him so hard that he could not bring himself to talk about Lennon publicly.

"It was difficult for everyone in the world because he was such a loved character and such a crazy guy. He was so special," McCartney told host Tom Frangione, according to People.

"I remember getting home from the studio on the day that we'd heard the news he died and turning the TV on and seeing people say, 'Well, John Lennon was this and what he was was this,'" he continued. "It was like, I don't know, I can't be one of those people."

McCartney said he could not open up about what Lennon meant to him because "it was just too deep. It's just too much. I couldn't put it into words."

Lennon was shot at close range by an obsessed fan named Mark David Chapman while the musician was entering a Manhattan apartment building in December 1980.

The singer died from his injuries. According to his doctors, the bullets inside his body shredded his organs and made it impossible for them to revive him.

Chapman, who is still serving time in prison after being denied parole several times, reportedly became angry with Lennon over the singer's 1966 claim that the Beatles were "more popular than Jesus." He was also angered by Lennon's luxurious lifestyle.

When his emotions finally settled, McCartney went to his recording studio and started playing the opening chords of "Here Today," he told Frangione.

The English singer-songwriter also touched on an occasion he references in the track: the night he and Lennon cried while they were in Key West in Florida. When the band couldn't play due to a hurricane, they holed up in a motel, where they had an emotional conversation after getting drunk.

"On the way to that, there was a lot of soul-searching," he recalled of that night. "We told each other a few truths, you know, 'Well, I love you,' 'I love you man,' 'I love that you said that,' and we opened up."

McCartney and Lennon's relationship was not smooth-sailing. They often had highly-publicized feuds, especially after the Beatles' split.

But McCartney said that he and Lennon reconciled before the latter's untimely death.

Apart from "Here Today," McCartney reissued his song "Dear Friend" from the Wings' debut album, "Wild Life," 50 years after it was first released. He revealed that the song was emotional for him because the lyrics were all about Lennon.