Personal Assistant Craigslist Ad Is Sweeping Internet: 5 Other Bizarre Examples

An advertisement posted on Craigslist on Aug. 9 by a San Francisco couple in their 40s is driving the internet wild.

Even though their requirement might read as nothing out of the ordinary – a personal assistant – it is the details that make up for bizarre reading.

The couple has listed their profession as biotech executives who lead extremely busy lives. So busy in fact, that they need a full time assistant, who would need to put in 40 hours per week to accomplish tasks such as cleaning up dog vomit and swim across the sea.

Some of the problems that the couple seem to be facing are: “Resorting to unhealthy take-out and processed foods, personal social media accounts are neglected," buying "fresh flowers but don't have time to trim daily and change the water, indoor plants are dying...nail polish gets chipped and remains chipped, investment opportunities go un-researched, and that crucial 'date night' consists of collapsing onto the sofa and watching a movie."

The more than thousand-word-long article goes on to list the qualifications required for candidate who wants to apply for the position that they are offering. "You aren't dramatic or tightly wound, however, you're also not lazy or sloth-like (nothing against sloths). You're level-headed and your friends think you have great judgment. You're down to earth, not cocky... You always know where your keys are or where your wallet is because you make it a point to place them in the same place,” said the advertisement.

Trending: Stingray Feasts On Oval Squid At Japanese Aquarium, Stuns Visitors

Craigslist is known for putting up any and every kind of advertisement regardless of its content.

The following are a few latest examples of ads put up by Craigslist users:

Eclipse Child: “I am 40 years of age, Caucasian male from Europe. My heritage is strong and pure. My looks, instincts, knowledge and strength is 100% pure and 100% lethal. I am looking for a worthy female with strong genes, beauty and smarts. To join me - to experience the totality eclipse in Oregon. Exact place not set. If we have chemistry, I would like for us to make love while the eclipse is happening.”

“When totality occurs, we will have simultaneous orgasms and we will conceive a child that will be on the next level of human evolution. We will make love together, with me and my penis directed towards the sun. Everything will be aligned in the local universe. Both of our cosmic orgasmic energy will be aligned with the planets.”

“In a brief moment of ecstasy, we will understand everything, and together, create a new universe. Full of love... You must like cats. Drugs are OK. Nitrous Oxide while we climax and experience totality and conception, is OK with me.”

Catfish Thrower: “I unwisely bet against my wise colleagues that if the Preds made it to the 3rd round, I would throw a catfish on the ice. However, when the time came to become an immortal, I backed down and realized I was deathly allergic to catfish - unwilling to make good on the bet and grab the brass ring of celebrity. I was offered a choice: catfish tramp stamp, or hire a catfish thrower. I chose the latter.”

“Qualifications: Sufficient strength to chuck a 2lb catfish over the glass. Stones large enough to stand there and fire up the crowd after the guts have splattered over the ice. Bravery necessary to smuggle a slimy dead catfish saran-wrapped to your belly through security. Willingness to be a God and go down in Preds history.”

Popular Now: Twitter Reacts To Donald Trump Thanking Vladimir Putin For Expelling US Diplomats​

Cages And Pokers: “On the strip of grass next to the street, I've put out 4 tomato cages, which you could poke out some serious eyes with, should you so wish. 3 appear to be galvanized steel, the other appears to be rusty. Free for the taking, on the curb. And you don't even have to listen to my Amway sales pitch!”

“I'll remove this ad when they've disappeared. I do not endorse or recommend poking eyes. Any consequences of eye poking, intentional or accidental, are the responsibility of the bearer or the tomato cage.”

Tom Cruise Lookalike: “Would you like to wow friends and family with your uncanny Tom Cruise impersonation? Now you can learn how to be Tom Cruise, in just one afternoon! A PROFESSIONAL Tom Cruise impersonator is developing a one-hour crash course where you can learn to do YOUR OWN impression of the TOP GUN star.”

“He needs ‘beta testers’ who are eager to learn the tricks of the Tom-Cruise-impersonator trade. All genders/body types/ethnicities are welcome. You don't have to look like Tom! The class will be filmed for review. Participants will be given footage for their participation in this trial run of the ‘Learn To Be Tom Cruise’ session.”