Buy An ISIS Costume For Halloween, And Other Things You Shouldn’t Do Ahead Of October 31 (Or Ever)

If you’re here because you’re looking to buy an ISIS Halloween costume, go away. If you’re here because you literally can’t even about your sexy Ebola costume, literally don’t even. And if you’re here because you want to dress a baby up like a cigarette, well, you’re actually a relative saint this year.

This Halloween, the real horror will come when you see what your friends and loved ones think they can get away with. This is how the people around us are pushing it this year:

Ebola

Nothing says “my part of the world hasn’t been ravaged by one of the deadliest diseases in history” like going for Halloween as a person living in an Ebola-ravaged zone. Sure, the likelihood of contracting Ebola in America is super slim-to-none, but buyer beware: Bad taste is infectious.

The best part of wearing this costume? No one can see the smug look on your face while you get away with it.

The ISIS Costume That Someone Else Already Wore

If you like terrorism and hate not being able to carry around a giant gun 364 days of the year, have we got a costume for you.

This “ISIS Terrorist Insurgent Halloween Costume!!” comes “RPG included!!”, which probably means something to this costume’s target audience of people who can’t tell the difference between war and #GamerGate. It’ll cost you an opening bid of at least $100 to own this testament to bad thinking, and if you're the kind of person whose life choices have led you to the point where you're considering buying it, you'll probably think that's a steal.

The best part? All the clothing associated with the ISIS costume is “pre-owned,” which, to be fair, is about as fresh as the joke.

Dress Your Family in Nicotine And Menthol

It’s illegal to market cigarettes to children. It’s completely legal to dress your baby up as a cigarette. This Halloween, excerise your rights.

Dress your baby up like any cigarette you want (just not a Camel Crush, or else! Haha!) with a little help from BrandsOnSale, which boasts that there’s “no worry of cancer with this cigarette costume. Who knew tobacco could look this cute?”

Totally with you on that one, BrandsOnSale. Coochie coochie cough.

Joan Rivers

Actually, Joan Rivers would probably have liked this. So help this person out.

The Ice Bucket Challenge Costume

This is only a good costume if your girlfriend goes as “the drought that’s been destroying California all year” or “a thinkpiece about Internet culture.” Otherwise it’ll just annoy everyone all over again.

A Celebrity Accused of Domestic Violence

Just. What is anyone thinking anymore?

Blackface

It's 2014 and here we are still talking about whether or not this is OK. It's not.

Did we miss your (least) favorite? Let us know what you'll be buying, what you won't be buying, and what your least favorite person will be going as for Halloween below.