'They're Listening,' Experts Observe Couples In Counseling May Be Benefiting From Lockdowns

The coronavirus lockdown may be helping couples in counseling see their relationship in a different light. This was what some experts observe as they see couples with relationship problems finally listening to the woes of their spouses or partners.

Turning To Each Other

Couples who seek counseling are often those who have relationship problems brought about by many factors. Perhaps their partner failed to appreciate what they are doing, or maybe they seek intimacy and attention. The therapist helps both couples in getting to the bottom of the problem, resolve their conflict, and improve relationship satisfaction. In most cases, however, the moment the therapist is gone, some couples go back to where they were before consulting a therapist.

With the lockdown and in the absence of their friends or associates, couples have no other recourse but to turn to one another. According to experts, while this may be stressful at the outset considering both couples have problems with each other, they may discover a new kind of sense in their relationship. Esther Perel, a psychotherapist and the author of Mating in Captivity, revealed that crisis like what is happening today could rearrange the priorities of couples and throw superfluous things away. She added that life has slowed down for many of her clients and has given them the time and space to work on their relationship.

Coming Back Together

Some couples with marital problems never realize it, but they may have been building their own independent structures for a long time. This could have been the result of leading busy lives and intent on making their professional careers successful.

According to Shelly Hanson, some couples are accustomed to having busy lives, and the sudden arrival of this “new normal” can be pretty intense for them. There are some, however, who see this crisis as an opportunity of thinking about what brought them together in the first place. Others simply realize that they finally “…got this lovely time together.” Shelly Hanson is a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Portland, Oregon.

Learning To Listen

One of the perks that this crisis provides to couples in troubled relationships is allowing them to have more time together and perhaps finally understand each other. According to Hanson, the coronavirus shutdown crisis may have made couples “…recognize the systemic nature of a relationship.”

For some couples, upon discovering they have less reason to be busy outside their homes have made them a bit quieter. Hanson said that couples have started to listen to each other. With the slowing down of their busy lives, they have allowed themselves to adjust to their relationships in ways their lives previously do not always allow for.