Drunk People Seen Trying To Have Sex With Woman-Shaped Hedge

A topiarist is sickened with the behavior of drunk people as they pretend to have sex with his woman-shaped hedge. According to reports Wednesday, Keith Tyssen has been sculpting a hedge outside his home into the shape of a reclining woman for nearly two decades. He named it Gloria.

In a recent interview, Tyssen said he is often woken up in the night by distracted passers-by trying to get into the act with his "privet lady" at his Sheffield home in South Yorkshire, England.

"They're climbing on top of her and pulling her legs apart - you know, it's disgusting," he said, adding that he has considered putting up a sign or an alarm to curb the behavior.

"I just peered out at about 04:30 in the morning and there was a guy on top of her and going through the motions of having sex with her," he said. "It makes me feel a bit sick, really. That's just not the way to behave — in lots of ways."

The 84-year-old added: "It's not always a guy actually, sometimes it's women who climb on her."

Tyssen sculpted the hedge over the past 40 years, beginning it with a Greek god but later changed it into a reclining woman at the turn of the millennium. It was inspired by a 16th-century sculpture in gold called The Saliera by Italian sculptor Benvenuto Cellini.

Tyssen's neighbor Chris said he shared the topiarist's frustration with the damage done to Gloria.

"We think [the bush] is great – we absolutely love it. Keith is a lovely neighbor and a wonderful person," he said. "The privet lady is a work of art and we get really cross when people damage her."

"It's a living thing and if someone breaks a branch it could take that branch five years to grow back... Damaging it can cause it to change beyond all recognition."