Humor: Harper Seven Beckham, meet Maxim Cooperstown Jeter
When David Beckham and Victoria Posh Spice Beckham gave birth to a girl and named her Harper Seven Beckham--after their favorite author Harper Lee and Beckham's old jersey number--most of the world gave a collective shrug ... but read about it anyway. After all, the Beckhams serve as the world's prom king and queen. It's hard not to pay passing attention to the star athlete and the ambitious, glamorous girl, who, just like in high school, are loved and hated, envied and admired, derided and desired.
But then we started thinking, what would other people in the news name their next child if they followed in Posh and Becks' footsteps? Here are a few guesses.
Maxim Cooperstown Jeter
Nobody writes better than those guys at Maxim, and they talk about the kind of things I care about--good grooming, fancy cocktails, and tasty models, comments New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter. And Cooperstown is where I'm headed, baby!
Rachael Romano James
Those cookbooks by Rachael Ray have recipes even my dates can make, and Rach is a girl who likes her 'mozzarrell,' says King of Queens actor Kevin James. Romano is NOT for Ray Romano--those rumors that he's responsible for my success are WRONG. I'm naming my firstborn Romano simply to fulfill a solemn oath I made with someone. Someone NOT named Ray Romano. Why would you even think that??!!
Ramis Ryder McIlroy
I don't have too much time to read books, but I love watching 'Caddyshack,' says U.S. Open champ and rising golf star Rory McIlroy. So my little boy will be named Ramis--after Harold Ramis, the header who wrote the film. Ryder's for the chance I get to stick it to the Americans in the European tourney of the same name.
Tammy Faye Goldman Boehner
I learned so much about staying in touch with my sentimental side from Tammy Faye Bakker/Messner, author of Tammy: Telling It My Way, explains Speaker of the House John Boehner. I could never match her teardrop for teardrop, though. I suspect her secret is the mascara, which I rarely wear. And Goldman is for those good bankers, my buddies, who built this country with their own French-manicured hands, and keep it flush with cash. It's the least I can do considering the shakedown those guys suffered.
Niccolo Newscorp Murdoch
When Wendi said she wanted a kiddie, I said, 'we'll have a little prince.' Many people speak poorly about Niccolo Machievelli, but who can question his results?, says Rupert Murdoch. Sound like someone else you know?
Kinsey Augusta Woods
When I first read the Kinsey Reports on sexual behavior, I was blown away, remembers Tiger Woods. Here were authors who talked to almost as many women about sex as me. And as for Augusta, it goes without saying--will the world ever forget my heroic 2008 Masters Tournament performance there, where I finished second despite having an utterly trashed left knee? Jordan only had a fever in that ballyhooed '97 NBA Final. Big deal.