Hurricane Irene New York: My Top 10 Thoughts As Storm Approaches

10. If New York is swept away into the ocean, will the Yankees and Mets relocate to California?

9. I wonder if all these liberal atheists in New York will suddenly ‘find God’?

8. Hmm, maybe I should’ve practiced doggy-paddling and breathing underwater at the Y.

7. I sure hope Donald Trump doesn’t drown! Where would we be without his wise guidance and noble leadership?

6. This might be the ideal time for S&P to downgrade New York City’s credit rating.

5. I hope Mayor Bloomberg has all those snow plows and road-salt ready!

4. If Manhattan is demolished, please, God, spare all the Irish bars along Second Avenue!

3. Is Irene any relation to Katrina?

2. If New York City sinks into the sea, Rick Perry is guaranteed to win the 2012 election.

1.No matter what happens, everybody’s gonna blame George W. Bush.