Mariah Carey Says Depressing Childhood Inspires Her To Go 'All The Way' Every Christmas

Mariah Carey opened up about her "depressing" childhood experiences and revealed that she intentionally makes Christmas the most special time of her year to make up for the sad holidays in her past.

The “Queen of Christmas” told ET’s Kevin Frazier that she tends to go over the top every Christmas to compensate for the upsetting Christmases she had while growing up.

"In my memoir, I talk about how when I was a little kid, growing up with no money, growing up being mixed, not understanding, having identity issues, and then going through my career and the different things that have happened, that I never even talked about to even some of my best friends," Carey said as she talked about her book, “The Meaning of Mariah Carey,” released in 2020.

She continued, "When I wrote about Christmas, I was like, 'Oh wait, I don’t want to bring people down,' 'cause this seemed like depressing stuff that happened. But that’s the reason that it motivated me to really go all the way in every Christmas, every year. I just want my kids to have the best time, and honestly, a lot of it is for me."

The “Fantasy” singer revealed that the famous holiday track, “All I Want For Christmas Is You,” was the first Christmas song she ever wrote in 1994. The track is currently at No. 36 on Billboard’s Hot 100 dated Nov. 27. The well-loved tune has 11.2 million U.S. streams, 8.2 million radio airplay and 2,700 units sold in the Nov. 12 to 18 tracking week of MRC data.

"When I wrote 'All I Want for Christmas Is You,' the label was like, 'OK, why don't you do a Christmas record?' And I'm like, 'Really, now?' Like, second album, two albums in," she said.

"And I was like, 'Well, I do love the holidays, let me try,'" she said in her interview with the outlet. "So, 'All I Want for Christmas Is You' is the first Christmas song I ever wrote, and then I worked on it with my then-writing partner, Walter A, and we just wanted to make it feel like a modern classic."

The 51-year-old Grammy winner is starring in an upcoming Apple TV+ special next month titled, “Mariah’s Christmas: The Magic Continues,” which features comedian and book author Tiffany Haddish, Billy Eichner, Ariana Grande, Jennifer Hudson and gospel singer Kirk Franklin and Khalid whom she collaborated with for her new holiday track, “Fall In Love At Christmas.”

"I'm hoping this becomes a streaming moment, separate and apart from any other," Carey said of the special.