Moammar Gadhafi’s Top 10 Thoughts as Rebels Close in on Tripoli

As Libyan rebels take control of the capitol city of Tripoli after months of fighting, here are Moammar Gadhafi's top ten thoughts as he ponders his next move:

10. “With a good attorney I might be able to beat these ‘war crimes’ charges. Anybody here know Johnny Cochrane’s phone number?”

9. “I’m getting awfully sick and tired of David Cameron’s ‘holier-than-thou’ attitude.”

8. “I wonder why Mubarak never returns my phone calls?”

7. “You mean that marine hymn about ‘the shores of Tripoli’ is about OUR Tripoli?? Wow, you learn somethin’ new every day!”

6. “Doesn’t Sarkozy look like a giant rat?”

5. “(sings to tune of ’Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head’) ‘NATO missiles keep fallin’ on my head, and just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed…’ (speaks) Man, I just love karaoke!”

4. “If they kick me out of Libya, I’m sure I can still find a good steady job as a ‘murdering, insane homicidal maniac’ somewhere else!”

3. “I don’t care what anybody says – Kim Kardashian is hot as hell!”

2. “There goes my annual holiday on the Chesapeake Bay. How I’m gonna miss them tasty Baltimore crab cakes!”

1. “Maybe this whole thing will just blow over.”