St. Patrick’s Day Jokes: 15 Irish Riddles And Funny One-Liners For Kids

This story was updated on March 13, 2017 with new family-friendly jokes and cartoons for St. Patrick's Day.

St. Patrick’s Day is a holiday for green beer, four-leaf clovers and funny one-liners. If you’re searching for short riddles to share with your little leprechauns, look no further — we’ve got you covered (in green).

But be careful if you’re former Vice President Joe Biden, who in 2015 made international headlines after he joked with Irish Prime Minister Enda Kenny that “if you’re wearing orange, you’re not welcome in here” at a March breakfast. Unbeknownst to Biden, the color orange is linked to Ireland’s Protestants. At least one leader in Ireland later called for Biden to apologize, according to the BBC.

Here are 15 kid-appropriate jokes that won’t cause offense, just giggles, this St. Patrick’s Day. These one-liners are collected from st-patricks-day.com, Enchanted Learning, jokes4us and kidsjokes.co.uk:

Why can't you iron four-leaf clovers? Well, you don't want to press your luck.

Why do revelers wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day? Because real rocks are way too heavy.

Knock, knock. (Who’s there?) Irish. (Irish who?) Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day, friend.

What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river? He gets wet, of course.

How can you tell if an Irish person is having a good time at your party? They'll be Dublin over in laughter.

Never iron a four-leaf clover. You don’t want to press your luck.

What's Irish and gets left out on the back porch all summer? Paddy O'Furniture.

Knock, knock. (Who’s there?) Pat. (Pat who?) Pat your shoes on so we can go celebrate St. Patrick’s Day!

Do leprechauns get upset when you make fun of their size? Yes ... but only a little.

What did the astronaut leprechaun use to travel to the moon? A shamrocket.

Why is St. Patrick’s Day frogs’ favorite holiday? They’re already wearing green.