Watch As Meri, Mariah Brown Reflect On Younger’s Coming Out Process

She came out to her family knowing that she may not have been accepted because of their religion and has since built a full-fledged life for herself that has included finding the love of her life—to whom she is now engaged. However, despite all the success and support she’s received, that doesn’t mean things are still entirely easy for Mariah Brown on “Sister Wives.”

Mariah the only daughter Kody and Meri share last came home and revealed that she was happily engaged to her longtime girlfriend, Audrey, and it appears that the pair are reflecting on the time when Mariah was less certain about what her future held as they plan things out. In a preview clip for the newest episode of the TLC show, Mariah laughs with the woman she loves as she recalls when she first realized she was gay.

“Part of my sexual awakening was when I learned that I liked Audrey, and I was like, ‘Oh, maybe I’m gay,’” she jokes in the clip.

However, while looking back, Meri is also forced to revisit her initial reaction, which, while supportive of her daughter, also saw her have a slightly rougher time accepting it, specifically as she tried to wrap her head around whether or not she’d ever biologically become a grandmother.

Now, in present-day, Meri reveals that she regrets the reaction, and was glad that Janelle, Christine and Robyn were also there at the time to show Mariah how much she was always going to be loved by all of the moms.

“It was a bit of a shock to me,” Meri recalls. “I was really grateful that she had three moms who reacted better than I did.”

As for why the reflection is happening now, it seems Mariah may be looking at the future, and could potentially admit that the religion her family comes from overall—which isn’t accepting about homosexuality—leaves her confused sometimes since she feels torn over embracing her love for her spirituality and her love for a woman.

“It’s really hard to be gay and religious at the same time,” she says.

“Sister Wives” airs Sundays at 8 p.m. EDT on TLC.