Why Demi Lovato's Team Used To Hide Her Dressing Room Snacks From Ellen Degeneres
Demi Lovato finally feels like she has her life ––and sugar –– back.
The “Anyone” singer appeared on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" Thursday to talk about how everything down to what she ate was at one point being controlled by those around her. That same day the star learned that during the nine previous appearances she had on the talk show her former team had been hiding the snacks in her dressing room.
"I didn't know that until today too, but I lived a life for the past six years that I felt wasn't my own because I struggled really hard with an eating disorder, yes, and that was my primary problem and then it turned into other things," the 27-year-old said. "My life, I just felt it was so... and I hate to use this word, but I felt it was controlled, by so many people around me."
"My bulimia got really bad and I asked for help and I didn't receive the help that I needed," she recalled. "So I was stuck in this unhappy position. Here I am sober and I'm thinking to myself, 'I'm six years sober, but I'm miserable. I'm even more miserable than I was when I was drinking. Why am I sober?'"
In fact, things got so bad that Lovato’s team abandoned her and she relapsed after six years of sobriety.
"So when they left, they totally played on that fear and I felt completely abandoned and I drank," she recalled. "That night I went to a party and there was other stuff there and it was only three months before I ended up in the hospital with an OD."
Now, Lovato has made the decision to take back her life and it started with a birthday treat.
"For many years, I didn't even have a birthday cake. I had a watermelon cake, where you cut your watermelon into the shape of a cake and you put fat-free whipped cream on top and that was your cake," she told Ellen. "I just really wanted birthday cake, so this year when I turned 27, you know, I have a new team, and Scooter Braun, my manager, gave me the best birthday cake. I spent it with Ariana Grande, who is one of my good friends, and we just had the best birthday and I just remember crying because I was finally eating cake with a manager that didn't need anything from me and that loved me for who I am and supported my journey. I think at some point it becomes dangerous to try to control someone's food when they're in recovery from an eating disorder."
However, Lovato still took accountability for her actions and left a message for her fans.
"Ultimately, I made the decisions that got me to where I am today. It was my actions that put me in the position that I'm in. I think it's important that I sit here on this stage and tell you at home or you in the audience or you right here that if you do go through this, you yourself can get through it. You can get to the other side and it may be bumpy, but you are a 10 out of 10, don't forget it. And as long as you take the responsibility you can move past it and learn to love yourself the way you deserve to be loved."
Lovato’s new self-described as “fun and lighthearted” single “I Love Me” will be available for fans to stream on Friday.
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