32 Funniest Anna Kendrick Tweets On Her 32nd Birthday

The girl who makes us all laugh, the girl who tells it like it is, the girl who charms the world without even trying, Anna Kendrick, celebrated her 32nd birthday this week.

Here are 32 of the best presents Kendrick has given the world (AKA her best tweets).

1. “I like to think of myself less like ‘an adult’ and more like a ‘former fetus.’”

Well, happy birthday, you 32-year-old former fetus!

2. “Oh God. I just realized I’m stuck with me my whole life.”

And you’ve still got many more birthdays to go!

3. “Direct sunlight: that helpful friend who points out all the spots you missed shaving.”

Women everywhere in the summer.

4. "‘I don’t want a whole dessert, let’s just get two spoons’ - Former friends of mine.”

Have your own dessert or don’t be friends with Kendrick. Seems like a pretty easy choice.

5. “I’ve still never seen a fidget spinner in person. So I guess I’ve made all the correct life choices?”

This fad is so not Kendrick’s ladyjam. Think twice before getting her one for her birthday.

6. “I’ve always heard that Tom Cruise is tirelessly positive and upbeat and I’d love to work with him one day. I think I could break him. ”

It’s nice to see such high confidence by this birthday. It’s admirable, actually.

7. “ Why can’t I hear the word ‘Question’ without thinking: ‘Tell me what you think about me.’ Oh right. Cause I’m basic.”

If Kendrick is basic, we all want to be basic.

8. “Every time Kendrick is trending I get worried I’m in a Ghost situation and this is how I find out I’m dead.”

When even Kendrick would fall for her own death hoax.

9. “In movies, when the super villain tells his origin story I honestly get worried because I relate so hard.”

Okay, but now we need Kendrick to play a villain, though.

10. “Why is every TV detective also a fashion expert? ’Our witness is a plumber but he’s wearing Gucci shoes – must have a sugar mama.’”

Thank you for asking the TV questions we all want to know.

11. “My life would be so much easier if it wasn't for that thing…God, what is that thing called…other people.”

Everyone has those days. For some people, it might just be every day.

12. “I like how Word will underline a mistake, let me hit ignore, and five seconds later underline it again like, Ooo, sweetie are you sure?”

But really, Microsoft Word, why do you do this?

13. “I spent the morning biting my fingernails down to jagged stumps. Why has no one contacted me about starting a lifestyle blog?”

Thought there was a celebrity lifestyle blog we were missing.

14. “Just spotted a Pop-Tart wrapper under my bed. That seems about right. #GrownWoman”

When you’re not sure if you’re reading one of Kendrick’s tweets or one of your own…

15. “Comes with fries #3wordsbetterthanIloveyou”

She appreciates the finer things in life.

16. “I heard @onedirection has a job opening... and from certain angles I look like a british teenage boy soooooooooooo”

To be honest, Kendrick joining One Direction would probably be (pitch) perfect.

17. “My Patronus is a corgi.”

‘Harry Potter’ humor, works every time.

18. “Yes of course I got your text - I’m just ignoring it. Don’t make it weird. ”

Why must they always make it weird?

19. “Does anyone else think ‘don't be a weirdo, don't be a weirdo’ over and over when entering social gatherings? Cause I don't.”

Be honest, Kendrick, be honest.

20. “My daily objective is less about goal achievement and more about regret management. #AimLow”

It’s good to be realistic sometimes.

21. “They say you shouldn't meet your heroes. And they're right cause I met a baby raccoon once and it pooped on my shoulder.”

It’s true, not all heroes wear capes.

22. “Why do I wish for more hours in the day when I spend so much of the time I DO have pinning ‘healthy recipes’ I KNOWWW I'm never gonna try?”

Stars. They’re just like us.

23. “Sometimes the only reason I leave my house is so when someone asks about my day I don’t have to say Netflix and avoiding responsibilities.”

The other version of Netflix and Chill.

24. “Sometimes I think ‘I need to think before I speak’ and then other times I think I shouldn’t leave the house or interact with people ever.’”

Same.

25. “Sometimes I legitimately get bummed that I’m not in any of the ‘Step Up’ movies.”

Can we make this one happen? Please?

26. “Why are we excited about Oreo Thins? I’m still waiting on triple-stuffed. So.”

So…?

27. "‘Why do you have a blue pixie-cut wig?’ ‘Because it was 25 dollars, and I had 25 dollars.’ #OrganizingDay”

That time Kendrick explained half of people’s closets.

28. “I’m so humble it’s crazy. I’m like the Kanye West of humility.”

Humility is a good friend of Kendrick’s. Hope it got her something good for her birthday.

29. “My dream is to live in the Thanksgiving episode of a 90’s sitcom. ”

Her holiday tweets are always on point.

30. “Sometimes I feel like I could pull off the perfect murder. I’m not saying I would… but I think I could. Merry Christmas!”

This is a funny tweet…right, Kendrick? It’s on the list, so the answer has to be yes.

31. “Anna-Ken-Drink-You-Under-The-Table #MakeACelebrityIrish #AlreadyIrish #HappyStPatricksDay”

32. “Sarcasm never comes across in print. Which I love. ”

To sum up the troubles we have reading all of Kendrick’s tweets.

Oh, to live an hour inside Kendrick’s mind would be an interesting adventure, to say the least. Happy birthday!