Holly Madison Details 'Traumatic' First Night With Hugh Hefner: 'Gagging As I Say This'

Hugh Hefner's former girlfriend Holly Madison got candid about her first time with the late Playboy magazine mogul in her new podcast.

During the two-part launch of the 42-year-old former reality star and her fellow "Girls Next Door" alum Bridget Marquardt's new podcast "Girls Next Level" Monday, Madison revealed all the intimate details of her first night having sex with Hefner before she moved into the Playboy mansion full-time in 2001.

Madison, who became one of Hefner's girlfriends at age 21, described it as a "traumatic" experience, sharing that it made her feel "gross and used."

Madison recalled that she was invited to join Hefner and a group of women for a night out at Las Palmas in Hollywood, California, and that she drank "so many" vodka cranberries that night because she was nervous.

She claimed that at one point, Hefner offered her a quaalude as an alleged test to see if she was doing drugs as he was against having them in the mansion.

"I said, 'No, I don't really do drugs,'" she shared, adding that Hefner said he didn't either but claimed that they were called "thigh openers in the '70s."

Madison went on to claim that she was "wasted" by the time she and the group went to Hefner's room. After taking a bath, she said "the other new girl" was already on the bed, where there were "vibrators laid out for everybody."

"I don't even remember everybody else walking in, I just remember laying down and everybody else was there, and the first thing that happens is The Recruiter says, 'Daddy!'" Madison claimed. "I'm gagging as I say this, but everybody used to call him 'Daddy' in the bedroom, which is so gross. So she was like, 'Daddy, do you want to get the new girl?' I s—t you not, next thing I know, he's on top of me."

Madison said she didn't really remember the rest of the night, other than Hefner telling "The Recruiter" — another woman in the group — to go get her some pink pajamas.

But after that night, Madison realized that she needed to move into the mansion because she had no place to live and thought she should develop a relationship with Hefner because sex was a "big deal" to her.

Madison claimed that she asked Hefner about moving in the day after their first night together.

"I think that whole experience was kind of traumatic for me. I know people would debate, you went up there knowing some sex was going to happen, but I thought I would have a chance to kind of see what's going on, see if I was comfortable with it and I never in a million years thought I would be the first person he would try to have sex with," she said of the first night experience as a whole in the second episode of the podcast.

She continued, "I didn't know if I would have to have sex the first night ... I never thought I would be the first person to have sex or it would happen that quickly. People can debate how much I should have been prepared for, but what people can't debate is how it made me feel."

Madison and Hefner dated from 2001 to 2008. She left the mansion at the age of 28.

Several other former Playboy Playmates and "Girls Next Door" stars, including Marquardt, have also shared their own experiences with Hefner and their stay at his mansion.

In 2015, two years before Hefner's death, Madison released her memoir "Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny," in which she claimed that she was verbally and emotionally abused while living in the Playboy Mansion with Hefner, according to Us Weekly. She also alleged that Hefner was a "manipulator" and would "pit" the girls against each other.

However, in a statement to Us Weekly, Hefner claimed that Madison was trying to "rewrite history in an attempt to stay in the spotlight."